15 Cursed Things People Are Selling on Facebook Marketplace

Facebook Marketplace is known for being a weird assortment of items dumped onto the internet after a good garage clean-out, but some things are weirder than others. Here are items that are actually listed as cursed or haunted — or really should be.

This listing brings up so, so many questions. Why is this person's "so-called friend Jon" spreading rumors that the bed springs are cursed? And what's the story with the one (just one) haunted spring? Hey, get all of them for $20 and you can figure out which one is spooky, but we're not sure we recommend that.

Look, the lister bought these at a garage sale, and someone who knows something said to get rid of them, so there you go. Bad things have happened, and I'm sure it's all the fault of these tarot cards, aren't you? But, you know, good price.

Maybe Charlie McCarthy scared the heck out of us back in the day (he didn't have a fan in Candice Bergen, who said she was always competing with the dummy for the attention of her ventriloquist dad, Edgar Bergen), but this slack, half-undressed dummy is just plain creepy.

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Not sure what happened to this Curad bandage tin, but hey, it's cursed. You can get it for $4, but the curse really seems to be the best thing going for it.

Related: The Creepiest Things For Sale Online This Week

We're not sure what happened to this marionette's hair, or its face, but we don't want to have this in our home scaring the pets. Or the kids. Or us. Or, really, anyone.

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Aww, when we think of babies, our minds immediately go to black — same? This is actually a very pretty wall mirror, crib, and bench (if you can get past the gloomy gothic style of it) and it's in pristine condition — so the fact it's free makes us suspicious. But don't you want something potentially haunted for your baby? Who said their first playmate has to be among the living, anyway?

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How could something this cute be cursed? But I'd stay away from this goose, because he allegedly burns down houses and kills families, according to the description. There's no amount of cuteness that makes any of that okay, really, even if the goose is crocheted and posed with a pumpkin.

Wait, this person is moving? They aren't dead or institutionalized? Does the future landlord know, because they should be warned so they can rescind their offer. And that bedspread and doll better not end up packed for the new place, because we're guessing bedbugs as a best case scenario. Anyone interested in this listing better get up to date on all shots before making contact, just a thought.

This vintage rocking chair looks like a pretty nice addition to any living room, so we might need more information about that haunting thing. Does it just rock when you're not in it or does a ghost rise up from the cushion screaming and threatening to kill you? Because the first one might be okay if we can get a deal on the price.

This isn't cursed, really? The person posting asks, "Getting married but doubt it will work out?" The ring may not be cursed, but the bad vibes here are enough to make anyone second guess this deal.

We don't know if it really talks, but this doll is definitely scary. But hey, a talking doll for only $25? Yeah, this is not an easy sale, sorry.

The person who posted this thinks it would be a "good wedding gift to someone you hate," which suggests you probably don't have to go or buy a gift to that wedding, but whatever.

While we can't repeat what the toy says here, let's assume it wasn't programmed to say that. This toy isn't listed as cursed, but it's definitely got a potty mouth.

These voodoo dolls are in a "devious cursed pile" and apparently make your brain peel? It isn't really clear, but whisper to them. Or something. Really, this seems like more trouble than it's worth

It may seem like an odd object to be cursed, but the person posting this item has receipts. It apparently has caused multiple car wrecks, and even though an attempt was made to throw out the dreamcatcher before, it's now priced at $1,000. So, if you want someone to crash their car, get this?